Friday, February 11, 2011

Maggots.  How do the work?  Is it magic?  I was once a young piece of meat.  I was minding my own business sitting on a table being marinated in some teriyaki sauce when all of the sudden a fucking fly landed on me.  First the fly cleaned its wings with its legs.  The the fly cleaned its head.  Then the fucking fly touched me with its tongue and licked me.  I tell you it was fucking sick, dude.  It was even more sick than when happened three days before when I was a cow and some motherfucking rednecks in a factory killed me with a bolt gun and then hung up my dead body on some hooks and cut the fuck out of it with a bunch of spinning buzzing saw blades--scattered hot bloody chunks of meat all over.

Anyhow, back to the story.  So there I was and then that fucking fly laid eggs all over my ...um...laid eggs all over me.  After that it flew away and then suddenly all these damn maggots appeared on me and started to eat me.  I thought all was lost but then some crazy broad named Ariel rebel came and took the maggots and put them in her vagina.  WTF?!??

After that I got thrown on the grill.  So sweet...

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23 comments:

  1. NeuroFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    Both interesting and disgusting =)

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  2. !sense!February 11, 2011 at 9:13 PM

    wait what?

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  3. DmitryFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:16 PM

    <3 maggots <3

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  4. Stuff that matters, stuff that don'tFebruary 12, 2011 at 4:49 AM

    I still don't understand magnets either despite all the internet's explanations :S

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  5. Disser2February 12, 2011 at 5:31 AM

    I recently found one among my cornflakes... brrr!

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  6. Come At Me BroFebruary 12, 2011 at 8:15 AM

    I need a steak!

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  7. EmptysquareFebruary 12, 2011 at 11:43 PM

    What...the fuck...did I just read a story from the point of view of a steak?

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  8. RaikuFebruary 12, 2011 at 11:44 PM

    Despite the maggots that looks good... and wtf did I just read ?

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  9. pete jonesFebruary 13, 2011 at 12:30 AM

    lol nice, i hate maggots.

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  10. D22 ZoneFebruary 13, 2011 at 1:43 AM

    Pretty grim post haha! Thanks for the blog though! Keep up the good work!

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  11. rcsc2February 13, 2011 at 2:27 AM

    maggots are sickening lol, strange story too

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  12. Choms1337February 13, 2011 at 3:20 AM

    I want eat breakfast but I see this picture and now ... I don't want to eat breakfast :/

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  13. CiriisFebruary 13, 2011 at 3:27 AM

    When I was a kid I heard a rumour that if you poured Coke on a pork chop and put it out int he sun for about 20-30 mins maggots would come out of the meat, granted I dident believe it and I had to try it.. sure ENOUGH, a fresh pork chop with Coke poured on it 15 mins later had maggots all fucking over it. Never really put me off from eating pork, but I can understand why people would not want to..

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  14. TeakayFebruary 13, 2011 at 3:43 AM

    cool story brah

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  15. laminarialesFebruary 13, 2011 at 4:27 AM

    Haha wasn't expecting that story. Well written

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  16. LiveTheBossFebruary 13, 2011 at 5:04 AM

    Dude, you are out of your mind! And very funny. Following now.

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  17. ericsFebruary 13, 2011 at 5:11 AM

    maggots and magnets, i will never know how they work.

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  18. level85nerdFebruary 13, 2011 at 6:25 AM

    Eww, thats disgusting

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  19. ShockwaveFebruary 13, 2011 at 6:51 AM

    One of the strangest, if not THE strangest thing I've ever read. Entertaining though.

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  20. WolfoonFebruary 13, 2011 at 7:23 AM

    wow...maggots. discussion for the ages

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  21. The DevastatorFebruary 13, 2011 at 7:57 AM

    Magic!

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  22. TsipiseFebruary 13, 2011 at 7:59 AM

    The ending is a surprise. A hope you ended up in a nice charcoal fire with some vegetables.

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  23. c0pywastedFebruary 13, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    disgusting!!! i love it. following.

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